Bell-Speak: an Interpretation
By “Oddstruck”
1. “They go very well, all things considered”
Translation: Considering the bearings are oval, the frame moves in three different ways and the tower shakes in a gentle breeze.
2. “I was struck by the unique tonal qualities of these bells”
Translation: They sound like 5 dustbins and a tin bath being hit by wooden mallets.
3. “The local band are very keen”
Translation: But just a little short on ability.
4. “Do we have a band for London?”
Translation: Tower captain trying to show off in front of a visitor
5. “Listen to the striking!”
Translation: I know someone is clipping but I’ll be blowed if I know who.
6. “Let’s all make a real effort to be here on time next Sunday.”
Translation: I’m fed up with pulling all 6 bells up on my own then not getting a ring
when you lot turn up 10 minutes before service.
7. “The band were not quite up to the method.
Translation: We had 10 minutes of passable ‘firing’ before deciding to ring Plain Bob
8. “A brave attempt” (at a striking competition).
Translation: Were they trying to ring call changes, plain hunt or rounds?.
9. “We are a friendly band here.”
Translation: Just don’t expect much from the ringing
10. “The conductor got a little over-exited”
He was jumping up and down on his box, waving both arms, shouting himself hoarse and still the half-wit on the 2nd wouldn’t make places in 5-6.
11. “The vicar is very keen on having the bells rung as much as possible”.
Translation: He lives in the next village and likes to annoy the churchwarden who lives next door to the church and hates the sound of bells.
By “Oddstruck”
1. “They go very well, all things considered”
Translation: Considering the bearings are oval, the frame moves in three different ways and the tower shakes in a gentle breeze.
2. “I was struck by the unique tonal qualities of these bells”
Translation: They sound like 5 dustbins and a tin bath being hit by wooden mallets.
3. “The local band are very keen”
Translation: But just a little short on ability.
4. “Do we have a band for London?”
Translation: Tower captain trying to show off in front of a visitor
5. “Listen to the striking!”
Translation: I know someone is clipping but I’ll be blowed if I know who.
6. “Let’s all make a real effort to be here on time next Sunday.”
Translation: I’m fed up with pulling all 6 bells up on my own then not getting a ring
when you lot turn up 10 minutes before service.
7. “The band were not quite up to the method.
Translation: We had 10 minutes of passable ‘firing’ before deciding to ring Plain Bob
8. “A brave attempt” (at a striking competition).
Translation: Were they trying to ring call changes, plain hunt or rounds?.
9. “We are a friendly band here.”
Translation: Just don’t expect much from the ringing
10. “The conductor got a little over-exited”
He was jumping up and down on his box, waving both arms, shouting himself hoarse and still the half-wit on the 2nd wouldn’t make places in 5-6.
11. “The vicar is very keen on having the bells rung as much as possible”.
Translation: He lives in the next village and likes to annoy the churchwarden who lives next door to the church and hates the sound of bells.
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